Give us your thoughts on the discussion questions below. Afterwards, add two comments that add additional insight to the responses of a colleague.
- Why are relationships so essential to learning?
- What are some practical ways you work to build mutual respect with your students?
- What are some ideas for how our school can strengthen relationships with students?
1. The very first moments of learning come from relationships. Just think about toddlers and young children. These are the times where a child is looking to those around them (close to them) to see skills modeled. Proper eating habits, speech, and play to name a few. In school relationships create a new motivation for learning. Again respect is mentioned in our reading. I think this is critical for any (positive) relationship to take place. A child isn’t going to learn from a teacher they think doesn’t care for them. Students who have positive learning relationships are not afraid to ask for extra help and be more willing to contribute questions. I for one know I learned more from instructors that I had a better relationship with then the ones I never saw outside of class.
ReplyDelete2. To build mutual respect with my students I make sure I always use “please” and “thank you” when asking students to do something or if they provide something such as an answer, their work, or really anything that they contribute to either class or a discussion we are having. Even though I am terrible at remembering names I really strive to call students by name and to ask how a student is doing outside of my classroom. If the student shares with me a story about their weekend (or their celebration) I try to remember to ask them later how it went to let them know I am listening. The biggest thing I know I work on to show mutual respect is understanding why a student might not be showing me respect. I try to find out if their is an underlying cause before I react.
3. I think any school can foster relationships by having buddy meetings/lunches/study groups with teachers. This for me is a strong desire as I have very little time (other than class to bond with the students) to spend with my students. I would love to have a buddy group so I could learn about them outside of our class time. This could be used for anyone and either be based on similar interests or club activities.
I am still amazed at how young relationships are formed. I look at my three week old grandson, and I am all too amazed at how he has connected with his mom and dad. I then think of students who have gone years without seeing a parent and I wonder if the parent never had connections with anyone or if the child will in the future. Building relationships literally changes our lives.
DeleteI understand about forgetting names but remember as a specials teacher you have a lot to remember between both schools! I like how you mentioned that you try to follow up with students who have shared stories or events with you. That shows not only that you listened but that you cared enough to check up on them.
DeleteKaren Hicks is also very good at using please and thank you with students. Every time she calls a student to get their library card and hands it to them she has them say thank you. Thank you for the reminder! It is very important to model and use please and thank you, as many times we are the model for manners.
DeleteThanks Robin!
DeleteI absolutely don't notice it with the adults around this building, obviously, but in general I have found that individuals rarely use "please" and "thank you" anymore. In talking about relationships, it should come as no surprise that if kids aren't hearing it at home in those relationships, they aren't saying it at home and they aren't saying it at school...until fantastic models come along and teach them what it truly means to be respectful, and most importantly, what it feels like to be respected.
DeleteI agree Shauna with your post!! As teachers we have so many roles, but setting a good example with our own behavior is at the top of the list!!
DeleteThank you Christie! I know it will take a little investment but I am already making connections with students I hope to keep for many years!
Delete1. Relationships are essential to learning because they have to feel a connection with the person they are learning from. This begins at home at a young age and continues throughout life. It is important that we build relationships and connect with our students in order to help them be ready to learn. They have to know that they can trust us and that we care about more than just their academics to get them to progress at the best rate possible.
ReplyDelete2. I talk with my students and find out things they like and are interested in so that I can ask them about those things and try to related our lessons to those things as much as possible. I try my best to find books that will make a connection with at least one of my students in a group so that we can have more discussion and I will learn more about them. I make sure that I say their names and "hello" every time I see them. I try to walk around some in the mornings so that I can talk with different students from the building and find out about things that we have talked about before or find out something new about someone. I speak to them in a respectful manner and give them options when they are upset and not responding.
3. I think forming groups of students of different classes/grades that have similar interest would be fun for the kids. They could make some new friends and find out that there are other kids who like the same thing. Lunch is a time that students love to talk and tell stories, so I think it would be good to do small groups of students to meet with teachers and just talk. I also think that doing a peer tutoring program would help some kids to learn a concept from someone other than their teacher and they would also build a relationship the more that they meet and talk.
It sounds like you do a lot of things to connect with students. I assume it is much easier to get students interested in reading when they have books that they like. Often, students don't realize the amount of time teachers put into lessons that are meant to increase student interest. I feel that we, at the elementary, do a great job of really getting to know our students and making them feel like we want them there.
DeleteI feel that when a student connects with any adult in the school they are attending their own happiness improves while in that particular environment!! As human beings we need and want to be connected to something bigger than ourselves!
DeleteSometimes I wish I could have lunch with the students to help facilitate relationships such as you spoke of. I love seeing students make connections because they have similar interests. Sometimes I get that feeling when students find out I like video games they do or play sports they like.
Delete1. Building a relationship with students is essential for a variety of reasons. It has been said that students will learn better from someone they know and like. Establishing a relationship will also help students who have behavior issues. If they trust the teacher, they are more apt to tell him/her what is happening in their lives that are causing them to act out. Feeling connected to people is (I believe) a key to success. With connections, confidence is increased when you feel connections.
ReplyDelete2. One of my favorite things to do is to greet my students in the morning. Calling each one by name and saying good morning or glad you are here has helped me develop great connections with student. I also do a lunch bunch with my students to build relationships with them. Getting to know them and their likes/dislikes becomes an easy tasks during simple conversations over a meal.
3. I am always impressed with how our school reaches out to students. We continually strive to build connections. Reading buddies are something that I think we could implement school wide. This will assist the younger students to connect with older students that they may not otherwise interact with. I love that we have now changed the wheel to "lunch with Dr. Methvin". I think this will help foster the positive relationship between principal and student.
I like your idea about implementing reading buddies school wide. As you said it will help students connect with other students. I love that you personally welcome your students each day, its a positive way to start things off. I know quite a few of our teachers do lunch bunch and the kids love getting to spend that quality time with their teacher.
DeleteTina, I love that you personally greet your students each morning, and I am SURE it means so much to them! I love your idea of implementing reading buddies school wide. Not only is it important for our students to have relationships with us, but other students as well! The more people our students can trust and confide in, the better. That is a great way to go about it! I know during reading week I saw some incredible things happening through reading buddies. Love the idea!
DeleteI see you and Whittaker each morning standing at your door greeting your kids and it always stood out to me, I can only imagine what that is like for the student to know that when they walk down the hallway that you are there, that you ready for them, and that they will be recognized right away that day. Thank you for being an example for me.
Delete1. Relationships are essential to learning because it's through relationships that we start the learning process. As little kids it is the relationships we have with family where we learn behaviors, manners, rules, how to do things. As young kids we observe and mirror what those around us do. Then as we get older and develop relationships outside the family those relationships can impact how we learn. For example if you have a teacher that you just don’t get along with or who you felt didn’t care about teaching or their students then it would be difficult to want to learn from that teacher. I know that the teachers I learned the most from and enjoyed their classes were the teachers that showed they cared, who were encouraging, made learning fun and had a passion for what they were teaching.
ReplyDelete2. As educators we are all given a daily opportunity to build positive relationships and mutual respect with our students. One way I work to do this is by simply listening to students. Showing interest in what they are saying and by also asking questions. For the younger students (PreK-1st) at times I try to kneel or squat down so that I’m on their level when they are talking to me. Another important way to build respect is by demonstrating good manners. It's also important to demonstrate kindness and compassion towards others. With all students I address them by their names although occasionally I do mix up siblings especially if they look alike. I really try not to though cause I know with having a sibling myself it can be frustrating when someone does that.
3. I think having teachers mentor a small group of students would be a good idea. For example I’m currently a student’s check in/out mentor as I know some of our other staff is and I know this program helps those students that struggle with behaving in class. I think having a few students that each staff member checks in with (not for behavior issues but just to show we care/they matter) from time to time would be beneficial. At school might be the only chance for some of our students to have or develop those positive respectful relationships that they need not only to help them learn but also to help them grow into good role models themselves.
I like the idea of having a teacher and student mentor program or such. I wonder if we could potentially start a sort of "Big brothers, Big sisters" group for students who do not have good connecting relationships? We could have whole group outings and some small group activities.
DeleteI think the mentoring idea would be awesome, I already see how a lot of our younger students look up to our older students. They are always trying to say and do stuff to impress their older peers. If we can pair up our younger and older students it could be a benefit to both students. By the younger student feeling respected and cool from the older student and the older student feeling responsible and proud as a leader in their school.
DeleteStudents are more likely to succeed when they feel connected to school. Students need to believe that the adults in the school care about them and their learning. Having mutual respect between the teacher and the adult creates learning that is double coded-emotionally and cognitively. The best relationships happen within the context of insistence, high expectations, and support. I feel that at PHES we are striving to be intentional and deliberate in building positive relationships with the kiddos we interact with daily, and we are seeing the positive results of our efforts!!
ReplyDeleteI strive daily to build mutual respect with all kids I interact with daily. When I work with kids I provide them with individual help, give praise, listen, accept their feelings, call on everyone equitably, give clues through questioning, I tell students whether their answers are wrong or right, and I care about each of the kids I work with!!
I think that by offering "Clubs" after school we can further strengthen our relationships with the kids at PHES. Each week or bi-weekly we could offer social clubs and academic clubs. This would make sure that we are connecting above beyond with everyone in the building and not just the remedial kiddos attending tutoring sessions on Monday and Wednesday. Some club ideas are Music Club, Drama/ Theater Club, Lego Club, Reading Club, Math Club, Conditioning (or any sport) Club, Art Club, Writing Club, Yoga Club, Computer Club, and Hot-Cocoa Club( drink cocoa and read books). We can make a "Club" out of just about anything!! It would be neat to have a Friendship Club where we help kids make, keep, and be a good friend! These are just a few ideas that may be neat for our students.
Oh my! I so agree! I think we all have something to offer as far as topics go for a club. It would be great for teachers to be able to build relationships with students they don't even have in the classroom. I don't know if our school would be able to offer teachers a stipend to host clubs or not, but the lasting effects of clubs would be evident in the classroom as well.
DeleteI'll run the LEGO club! So I agree with the club idea in general. I think it would be beneficial to interact with students in a different environment.
DeleteOh the years of career ladder....lent itself perfectly to providing all of these after school activities that did foster building relationships. Too bad its gone!!
DeleteI love the club idea and would be all for it!
Delete1. We are all made to desire that sense of security and sense of importance that comes with relationships with other people. Whether that be with our parents, friends, siblings, teachers, etc., that sense of security will open the door for lots of opportunities in our lifetime. When it comes to learning, it’s important to have relationships with our students so they feel more comfortable and safe with us. When we let our students know that we care about them, they are more willing to work with us and be open with us. Their respect for us grows. Sometimes students can be afraid to ask questions or give us answers for fear of sounding “stupid” or being “wrong.” However, when we have those relationships built with them they have that sense of safety in our classrooms which really gives them the opportunity to grow and learn.
ReplyDelete2. First, I think establishing a sense of safety in our classrooms is a must. Our students must know that their thoughts are not something that will ever be laughed at, and that we are all here to learn and grow together. As teachers, I think it’s important to steer away from the “right or wrong” answers and perhaps try to get a better understanding of why a student may have the “wrong” idea in the first place. Once students know that they are loved and respected by their teacher it will really change the whole atmosphere of the classroom.
3. Because of the home lives some students will have, we will see some who have taller “walls” built up. When teachers are willing to put their seriousness aside and have some fun with the students (show them we are human too) those walls will slowly be broken down. I think by doing things like allowing students to eat lunch with their teachers, or even just having a meaningful conversation with them about something other than school it will strengthen our relationships with them tremendously. Another big thing is admitting when we have made a mistake. Our students need to know that we are not perfect nor do we expect them to be! This is so huge for students. When students think we expect them not to make mistakes, (or we think we are perfect), it puts them on edge and doesn’t help build those successful relationships we really want with them.
Liked your comment about admitting when we made a mistake. Makes us more human to our students that believe that we a "teacher" only.
DeleteYou are so correct about some "walls" being taller than others. I so enjoy and appreciate that you are able to have meaningful conversations during snack time with our kiddos. That time in our day is very important for building trust and forming relationships.
DeleteWalls...I have walls! Some of my walls are tall, short, thick, thin, strong, and weak. My point is some of my walls cane be easily torn down with little effort while others may take a little bit more work. I appreciated reading your comments about how you try to tear those "walls" down.
Delete1. It's hard to trust anyone unless you have a relationship with them that is genuine. When students come to school, they don't know much about their teacher until they have been in class with them. As with anyone, until you spend time with each other (teacher and student), it is hard for some to trust each other and have a trusting relationship. This makes it important for we, as teachers, to begin the interaction with students on common ground and work to develop this bond as the year progresses to ensure students trust the information taught and work to please their teacher out of respect and intrinsic desire to learn.
ReplyDelete2. I love to interact with students by creating art side-by-side with them while conversing about their interests. I also like to joke around with students and keep things lighthearted in the classroom. I feel like by spending time with them after our lesson, they are able to see that I am interested in what they have to say. Plus, this gives me time to make observations on the success of their project and redirect and encourage where necessary.
3. I would love to have an art club. I think there are many other clubs we could offer as well. If each teacher, or groups of teachers, could get together and come up with an extra-curricular club, we could reach so many students on another level. Plus this would give most teachers opportunities to interact with students they may not have in class on a daily basis. Arranging these is, of course, easier said than done.
I'd like an Art club as well. I hate having to tell my students that they can't draw or be artistic, because we have so many other things to do!
DeleteI wish we had an RTI time included in the day to allow for some of this club activity. This would allow students to move about the building and interact with teachers that they may not always do.
DeleteI love the idea of an art club. We have so many students that have a love for it, but do not get to use that talent very often at school.
DeleteI'm sure your students love that you joke around with them and aren't serious all of the time! I know that always made me feel at ease in a classroom. I think that extracurricular clubs are a wonderful idea! It would also get students to interact with other students who they may not otherwise interact with. Great idea!
ReplyDelete1. Being in a trusting relationship is extremely important to learning. A student or anyone will not leave their comfort zone and try new things if the relationship is not built first. Everyone needs to know that they are valued, their opinion matters and if they make a mistake, it is alright, just try again.
ReplyDelete2. I believe that it is very important that if you say you will do something to follow through. The student should be able to count on your word being true. Another way to build respect is to give them a voice. When a student makes a suggestion for a new book, they write it down, and I try to get it for the library. That way it goes from my library to our library! The book pointed out the importance of building friendships. I could foster that idea more by having more their choice team discussions.
3. We do so many great things for our students but I feel like there are a few quiet ones that fall through the cracks. Just being aware of this and making a conscious effort not to over look anyone. There is a line in a poem by James Whitcomb Riley, The Raggedy Man on Children "Jevver think? The world's best men wears the same souls they had when they run barefoot 'way back when". I love this because it always reminds me that our students might be small now, but are growing into the future adults and we are here to nurture them now.
You are so right. When you take the time to think about all of these children passing through our building are going to one day be adults and our society, it makes you realize what a huge responsibility we have each day.
DeleteEverything in your first paragraph is just yes. If I don't have a relationship with you, don't trust you, don't know anything about you, and know you don't know anything about me then I am highly unlikely to put myself out there. I'm less likely to try anything new and less likely to achieve my potential.
Delete1. Relationships between students and teachers are essential for learning to build a strong foundation for trust, respect, and a sense of safety and security. If a child truly feels that you care about them and you bond with them, then they are more likely to try their hardest and have more successes.
ReplyDeletePositive relationships with peers are also very essential for success in learning and in school. Many years ago my office used to be in the same building as ISS. I kept seeing the same high school students serve time in ISS on a very regular basis. One day I took the time to ask why they kept getting into enough trouble to be sent there. A girl explained it in very simple terms. Simply, I have to go to school and at least here nobody harasses or bothers me. Positive peer relationships could have really made a difference in many of the students I saw in ISS.
2. There are so many ways we work to build mutual respect with our students. What I love about preschool is the fact that our pre-k team is able to not only greet each child, but also greet a parent each day. We use students names several times each session. Many times we sit and work/create with the students during table work. I love to kneel or be on the floor to be at the child's level while talking to them and working with them.
3. Back in the days of Career Ladder, I remember several reading groups, clubs, teams, and special events that occurred after school. The most recent club was the Green Team. Now that we are a title school and offer tutoring for all students-- wouldn't it be fun and create excitement to have themed tutoring groups? Possibly a different theme each quarter/semester. Each teacher that tutors could choose their own theme and incorporate that into a portion of the reading/math tutoring time. Treat it more like a club or summer school with a focus on skills with a bit of enrichment mixed in.
We also used to have an RTI time (Gold Time??) at the end of each day that each grade level participated in. Two teachers would teach interventions and the third would teach enrichment. I always felt it was very worthwhile to be able to interact and build relationships with students you may or may not have daily interactions with.
I love the themed tutoring idea! I think the students would love coming to tutoring because the content would be engaging and exciting for them based on their likes and interest.
DeleteGreeting your students parents each day is a great way to build that rapport with the entire family. Getting their support early is a big support for the school.
ReplyDeleteWhy are relationships so essential to learning?
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that must occur, according to the text, for learning to occur is the students must connect with the teacher. For me, I can remember my favorite college professors were people who made sure we interacted with each other. I hated all of the team building or cooperative learning they made us do with each other, but those are the classes that I retained the most information. There were also professors who made a point of speaking to students directly and getting to know students personally. This was memorable and increased my interest and emotional investment in the class. Throughout my life, this has been true, if I am emotionally connected to the speaker, teacher, pastor, etc, then I will always learn more.
What are some practical ways you work to build mutual respect with your students?
I eat lunch with a group of students every week or two. I try to learn something that is not school related about each student every day. I think it’s fun to joke with students and try to learn their sense of humor and quirky personalities. I also tell embarrassing stories about myself or inform them about my weekend. This creates a safe space hopefully for students to open up to me and build mutual respect.
What are some ideas for how our school can strengthen relationships with students?
I think we do a ton of things to build a positive and uplifting environment and it is hard to criticize anything we do as a building. I think we should have more opportunity for students to interact with teachers in a non-academic environment. I’m not sure what that would look like, but maybe if we spent one recess a week playing a board game with a rotating group of students?
1) The book stated that relationships constitutes the primary motivation for almost all learning. We know that students are more likely to be successful in the classroom if there is a connection with the teacher. As I look back on my educational experiences from elementary through college, the most productive classes were the ones where I felt their was a connection with the teacher or professor. When there is a positive relationship with the teacher, the student is more apt to want to be there, engaged in the lessons, and perform to there best ability.
ReplyDelete2) With working with students in small group setting most of the time allows me to have the opportunity to get to know my students really well. I am able to find out about their interests. I then can incorporate their interests into the math problems we are doing in our small group. They love to have their name, pet's name or their hobby being used in word problems.
3) Our building does a lot with building relationships with our students, from the items on wheel, lunch bunches, and reading buddies. I think that sometimes we get too caught up in getting all the standards taught and preparing for a end of year test, that we miss out on many great lessons. I think it is ok to teach some topics "that aren't on the test" but are just fun and engaging for the students. It is amazing how a fun,creative lesson can foster a deeper bond within the classroom.
I enjoyed your post. I always enjoyed being in your classroom when I was working as a Sped Para. It was very obvious that you had good relationships with your students. I thought back to the classes I felt like I learned the most when I was in school, and it was with those teachers that showed respect to their students.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am able to build relationships my students, but their are some students that it takes a lot more time to build that relationship and trust with.
1. Relationships are vital to learning as stated in the book and I think when we look to our own educational experiences we find that to be true. Personally, I've tried to learn from all my experiences, but I find it much easier to learn and retain from individuals I have a personal relationship with. Thinking back to my most recent schooling, in grad school I had many great teachers, but the ones I learned from the most and can still hear in my head are the people who took the time to get to know me and allowed me to get to know them in return. When students know teachers want a mutual relationship of knowing one another, it gives the student a feeling of worth and like the work they are doing is worth doing too.
ReplyDelete2. In order to build a mutually respectful relationship I think its important to have unconditional positive regard, be congruent, and be empathic. Showing a child that I have unconditional positive regard for them is one of the most important parts to building a strong, respectful relationship. We all mess up. A student needs to know that just because they mess up, get in trouble, or get on my nerves that day is not going to change the way I feel about them or the way I treat them. I think knowing that can help students grow and learn to try things even if they might make a mistake. Being congruent is also important because students need to know what to expect. All of us know that one person who you never quite know what kind of reaction you're going to get from them and they don't necessarily make us feel at ease or safe to be ourselves. By being congruent in my behavior and expectations, students know what kind of reaction they are going to get from me at all times. Finally, in our most caring relationships we know that the other person really gets us. They don't sympathize with what we are going through, they actually get it and can share that understanding with us.
3. I think our building does a really fantastic job in building relationships with our students. Our students love coming to school. I think one thing that we can all do as individuals is to look at the students we do have a strong, respectful relationship with, analyze how that relationship came to be. Then, look at the students we might not have that relationship on lock with yet and figure out how we can achieve it by using some of the same techniques.
1. Children learn from adults who they love and respect, whether the person does right or wrong. Students admire and look up to adults who pay attention to them and invest time in them. Relationships are built on love, respect and trust. In order for a child to learn, they must feel respected and cared for. When a child or adult is cared for and respected, it has been proven they will go above and beyond what is required of them. Students will want to reciprocate the feelings that has been bestowed upon them by performing the task being asked of them. All human beings long for relationships and a feeling of belonging. I do not believe students have an innate desire to learn, however they do have an innate desire to be loved and respected. Therefore when teachers want students to learn the concepts they are presenting to them, they must appeal to the needs of their students. Therefore in order for a student to learn we must meet the needs of the student first by building a trusting caring relationship with the student.
ReplyDelete2. When communicating with our students I try to always have a smile on my face and greet them by their name and ask them about their day and/or weekend. I also try and build relationships with students by striking up conversations with them about their hobbies and/or likes. When I see a student having a bad day or who may be struggling with their assignment I try to cheer them up by having them focus on the positives of their situation, try to be a listening ear for them. I want the students to know I am there for them if they ever need someone to talk to, or will always be their cheerleader.
3. As stated in earlier post, I think having after school clubs would be a great way to build relationships with our students. Having after school clubs would allow teachers and students to bond over similar interest.
1. At the heart of all learning is relationships. In reading through the comments I see many people speak of the aspect of the child learning through relationships, but I think the reverse is just as important as well. As I gain a relationship with the child then I begin to know what triggers them emotional, physically, and mentally. I am then able to encourage and motivate them at a higher level. That is what I love about relationships…that it is a two-way-street.
ReplyDelete2. I try to build mutual respect by taking the time to be real with them. I will be brutally honest at times in order to share a connection with them. Some days are better than others for children and some days are better than others for me too. I can always look at another person and make a judgment on whether that person is right or wrong, but when I truly build that respect then I begin to trust and have compassion for them. I can be stern with a wayward child, but give them a hug of encouragement at the same time. Basically, I try to model the type of relationship that I want from others.
3. I was a rotten student in my elementary years…not because I was mean – though I could be, but mostly because I was impulsive and hyperactive. I didn’t do great at my school work – not because I was unable, but because I distracted. I understand students who are like that. We each have our different backgrounds that help build a bond with different types of students. I think finding ways to share our stories can help these students see the bigger picture in life and help them in their current stage of life.